It is time to stand up and fight!  I do not mean go to your local bar, tick off a couple of regulars and get yourself a good old fashion butt kicking.  What I mean is stop complaining about what is wrong in this world and put up a fight!  Do something about it!  Put it out there.  If something feels wrong it probably is.  So say it!  If more people start standing up for what is right power is gained for the cause.  Then something may actually change!

Kevin and I recently released our story through CBS about infertility treatment access to wounded veterans.  We received a lot of amazing feedback for this.  We also received some negative and somewhat heartbreaking feedback, but feedback none the less.  However I saw time after time, “well what about me, what about my right to fertility treatments”, “those people should think about everyone and not just wounded solders” and so many similar comments.  First off, I have to start with this. My heart beaks for those who have suffered with infertility!  This is a newer world to me. It isn’t one I ever wanted to join; however it is our reality and acceptance has truly made it a smoother transition.  Kevin and I decided to be public about our struggle because we knew that it could bring change.  We are not looking for it to help ourselves.  In the next couple of months we will be starting our IVF treatments. The law will not be changed by then and that is not stopping us.  The reason we are doing this is because no one else should have to stress over having a family and I mean NO ONE!

It isn’t rare for a solider who comes back from come back from war with suffered significant injuries to also suffer in the fertility department.  When people would ask about the injuries that Kevin withstood, he would rattle off the list, missing right leg below the knee, severe damage and leg salvage to the left leg, ruptured ear drum, crushed wrist, missing pinky, etc.  One injury was always left out.  Who wants to hear, “oh and I also lost my testicle”.  As Kevin would say, that is a conversation ender!  All of the previously listed injuries are well documented and receive care without question.  The missing testicle however, not so much.  One injury should not be treated any differently than another.  The medical advances are available and our wounded soldiers should not be denied them.

With that being said, no one should be denied the treatments.  Some people need infertility treatments due to conditions such as endermitrious, PCOS, cancers, etc.  The disease isn’t being treated unless it gives the person the full function of that part of their body back or with significant attempts made.   These people didn’t ask for this no more than Kevin asked for what happened to him.  It is unfair.  I feel like there is this notion that those who are able to conceive on their own are the “chosen ones”, and all those who cannot conceive naturally must adopt all the babies that the chosen ones decided they did not want to raise.  In what realm does adoption cure a disease?  It doesn’t!  It is a perfectly amazing option for those who want to but that should be for both those who can conceive naturally and those who cannot.  It should never be expected that the ones who struggle with fertility, adopt instead.  There are plenty of medical treatments that can be attempted to give a person the ability to have their own biological children. This isn’t selfish; it is treating the problem. The medical advances are available and no one who needs them should be denied.

Kevin and I would love to change this for everyone if we could!  We choose to tackle the wounded solider treatments first because there is currently a bill in Congress to reverse a law that prohibits the VA from covering infertility treatments.  We will fight for this until it is achieved.  This won’t help us with our first child and maybe not even our second but we hope that by putting up a fight, there will be a day when everyone has the ability they need to have the family they dream about.  We are not saying that we do not care about the other reasons someone may need fertility treatments.  This is the one infertility issue that we can give a face to.  When there is  a face to a problem, it is a lot harder for people to tell you no!  Often, insurance companies follow standards similar to the government insurances and VA.  If the VA will say they will cover fertility treatments, it is going to be significantly harder for other insurance companies to not follow suit!  We are also working with Shady Grove Fertility Center to advocate for everyone.  I am literally begging you to fight for your rights to these treatments.  Do not stand by and just give in to it.  This is wrong and we need to do something about it.  We cannot expect America to be outraged if we do not say something!  Kevin and I will be meeting with CBS several times to keep telling our story.  We encourage you to do the same!  Let’s let the world hear; we are being denied the treatments we need which impacts our ability to have a family.  People will throw their two cents in and maybe even be cruel and hurt your feelings. However, change can happen.  When more people get  access to needed fertility treatments, it will all be worth it.  I promise; it is worth it.  So let’s all stand together, regardless what caused the infertility and say “This is not okay and we will no longer accept it!”

What can you do to help?

-Write to your Representatives

–Click here to learn about current bills sitting in Congress  and fight to get them passed!

-Get involved with RESOLVE (visit http://www.resolve.org)

–Participate in Advocacy Day (Click here for more information)

-Contact your News companies, tell them your story and tell them you want to share it in an effort to get legislation to pass!

-Write to your local paper

Stop wishing and do something about it! Lets fight together!

It has been over a month since I’ve found the time to sit down and write.  I miss writing, it is so therapeutic to me!  We’ve been very busy with wedding planning, it consumed us for quite awhile.  I’m happy to say though that I am married to the man of my dreams now!  All the hard work was completely worth it.  Our day was truly magical and I cannot believe it is already past!  Kevin and I just returned from our honeymoon this week.  We had an amazing time together, just the two of us for the week.  While we were on our Honeymoon, CBS reported our story about war related infertility.  We’ve known from the beginning of our relationship that have children would be difficult for the two of us; that we would be facing trying times to create the family of our dreams.  In case you haven’t read it before, we will have to do IVF with ICSI in order to have children.  We’ve been working with CBS News to try and get our story out for awhile now.  They are helping us get the word that even though the reason for the infertility is directly related to the injuries he suffered, we have no support through the VA or Tricare to help cover the very expensive cost.  There is currently a bill sitting in Congress to reverse the law that prevents the VA from covering these treatments so now was the best time to share our story.  If you haven’t seen the news story, I’ll post the link below so you can!

Now, Kevin and I are waiting until we are ready to start the IVF process.  We will pick a time that feels perfect for us, when we are ready to go down the journey we’ve only just begun.  We’ve found a ton of supporters along the way.  I am so thankful for all of them.  We’ve also found some, but fewer than the supporters, who say we are “nit picking” or we should “adopt because there are thousands of children who need a home and it selfish to want your own children”.  Those comments were very difficult to deal with at first, actually sometimes they still get under my skin.  Of course I feel terrible for all the children who do need a home and my heart is open to adoption one day but we want our chance to have our own too.  I want to look at my children and see the things that I love the most about Kevin in our children.  We deserve that chance. I cannot simply make the desire to carry my own child go away.  It is obvious that the people who say this do not understand the cost of adoption either.  It cost the same if not more to than our fertility treatments. Further more, why do people think it is okay to say something like to someone who is dealing with infertility?  You wouldn’t tell a person who got pregnant on their own that they are selfish, or maybe they would, who knows.  Either way, Kevin and I are excited for our chance to try and have our own children.  We are excited to hopefully make a difference for all those suffering with infertility who have to dig deep into their pockets to find the money to cover it.  We want to help everyone we can, this is a new world to us but it is a world that deserves attention.

CBS Story

Click the above link for the CBS story!

The new Mr. & Mrs!

Wishing baby dust to all!

Another doctors appointment is out of the way in an effort to prepared for IVF treatments!  Kevin and I are getting closer and closer to starting the actual rounds of IVF.  A very exciting and terrifying journey we will be starting!  We will be going through this process very publicly.  We are working with CBS news to try and get our story out to the world.  Our goal is to get legislation to pass through Congress that will allow the VA to provide fertility treatments to wounded soldiers that need it.  The reason that we require IVF treatments to have children is because of an injury that my fiancee suffered in Afghanistan.  Not only did the IED he stepped on cost him his leg, it caused a significant decrease in fertility.  We required IVF treatments with ICSI, meaning the egg and sperm have to be put together by an Embryologist.  None of this is currently covered by the VA.  It is also not covered at all by Tricare Prime (for retired soldiers).  If Kevin was still active duty, we would not be in this situation because it is covered for active duty.  However, Kevin was medically retired due to the significance of his injuries and we are left to find other means to cover the cost of the treatments. We are working hard, and I know other couples are getting involved to try and get the word out.   Please help us get this bill through Congress by asking your representatives to get on board.  By voting no, they are telling wounded soldiers they do not deserve access to medicine and treatments that could allow them to have their own children.  These wounded soldiers deserve more support than that!  The medicine and science is available, lets work together to make it more affordable for everyone!

Click the link below to read about the bill!

Bill HR2257 – Provide Fertility Treatments to Wounded Soldiers.

Click the link below to send a letter to your representatives!  It is simple, you just add what you want and it sends it for you!

Write to your Representatives!

Thank you so much for all of the love and support.  We will keep everyone updated as we go through the process.  We appreciate prayers as we start the process!

Facebook Page for more information regarding this bill!

As I sit in my living room listening to the fireworks in the distance, I can not help but to feel an overwhelming amount of pride in this country, America!  When I hear fireworks, I do not have to worry if they are gun shots or bombs going off in the distance, I know they are fireworks.  When a helicopter goes over my head, I do not worry that it will bring danger to myself and people I love.  I know the helicopter brings police, EMS, and media.  We live in a place where you can expect a certain level of safety.  To me, that is something worth being thankful for.  We have a strong military that fights everyday to keep the war off of our land.  I am so proud of them for their sacrifices they’ve made to make our country stronger and safer.   We have strong EMS, Fire and Police who are always ready to respond when needed. These people and their families give so much to provide us services that so many other countries do not access to.  When we show pride in our country, we are saying “thank you” to these people too.

Lately, there has been much media related to lack of american pride.  I watched a video of an experiment that was done with college kids.  The person tried to persuade the college students to sign a petition to change the American flag into something else, they did this by saying the current one isn’t worth anything anymore.  THEY SIGNED IT!  So many of the college students signed it, and that broke my heart.  Are we raising a generation of people who do not feel the American pride?  What can we do to fix it? I feel like everyone who lives in this country should have a flag flying.  Nothing warms my heart more than seeing the flags out for the holidays.  Imagine a country where we flew our flags all of the time, where our pride just screamed out to you as your drove down neighborhood roads.  I dream of that kind of pride being displayed by those that live here. Imagine how this probably would make our military members feel as they return home from the war.  We all probably heard this quote several times but it continues to be true, “United we stand, divide we fall.”  We currently live in a country where our reality is that 22 veterans a day are ending their own lives.  That is an epidemic, and what are we doing to fix it? Instead of fixing it, we are showing less and less pride in our country. We are becoming more and more divide and the results are catastrophic.

I know that sometimes things do not go as we want them to, and it can become very frustrating, but please do not lose hope.  Do something about the things that frustrate you, complaining has never fixed anything!  Research who you vote for, volunteer, write letters, contact your representatives, blog about it, do something, just DO NOT LOSE HOPE!  If you lose hope, then so does the next person, and then it just continues to trickle down.  Who will be left to fix our country when no one has hope? This country is something worth fighting for and I am so proud to live on this beautiful land!  Happy 4th of July!  Keep showing that American Pride!

Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt guilty for sitting down on the couch after work instead of doing something more “productive”.  My hand is raised as high as it can go.  I feel like if I take a break, a nap, or anything else that is not actually doing something, then I am a lazy person.  Lazy people do not get things done and I do not want to
be one of those people.  However, don’t you think we take it a little too far the opposite way?  Like somehow we are not good enough unless we work until the point of death.  That if we are not working 10 hour days or more we are less of a human-being.  Oh and heaven forbid if you sit down and eat lunch without work in front of you… how dare you! Breaks are for the dead.  While we are alive we must spend every waking second of our life working and making sure everything is perfect.  We must always please our boss, not matter how ridiculous the demands.  We cannot deviate from this plan, otherwise we are looked upon as lazy, unproductive, and somehow less human than those who do.

I have just one question in response to these feelings.. What about us? This is our life, right..  We do not owe our life to any single human being or even our careers.  We owe our lives to ourselves, and our creators (depending on what you believe), and that is it.  It is a crazy notion but it is true.  Why do we feel like we must always be doing something?  Why do we judge those who do take a break?  How many times have you heard these questions:

* Oh you got a nap today, must be nice, I wish I could take a nap.

* What a luxury that you get to stay home with your kids, I wish I had that opportunity to sit around the house all day in my PJS.

* It must be nice to sit down and watch American Idol, I just don’t get to watch TV because I am just so busy.

* How about since they obviously have so much extra time, they come help me with my job?

* Read a book? When do you ever have time to read a book?

All of those comments and the thousands of others that we have all heard are said intentionally to make the other person feel like less of a person because they spent time doing something they enjoyed.  Why do we do that?  Why do we criticize the person who is choosing to use their time to do things they enjoy?  It is their life after-all! It is almost like we are wired to react that way and it does not make sense to me.  I am going to start glorifying the people who actually take the time to do what they want to do instead of focusing on the “I must be busy” mantra that so many people follow.   We are here on this earth for the average of 27,000 days.  Why in the world are we wasting these precious days exhausted, overworked, and stressed the HECK out? Stress is its own drug, it destroy our bodies slowly and its impact is real.  The following things are just short preview of what stress does to the body: headaches, stomach ulcers, digestive issues, infertility, acne, increased glucose level possibly leading to type-2 diabetes, muscle pain, memory loss, depression, relationship issues, anxiety, heart-attack, stroke, and the list goes on and on.   I wouldn’t take a pill or eat something that would me all of those side effects.  Yet, time after time we buy into the notion that a busy and stressful life is a more for-filling life and we basically taking that pill!

We all think that everyone else has it so much easier than us.  That our lives our the most stressful and they just don’t have a clue.  I, for one, would much rather choose to wear my own shoes, than to try on someone else’s.  We have no idea what other people face and how they are feeling inside.  I’d almost guarantee that if we did try someone else’s shoes, we’d return them and want a full refund.  Maybe if we would all just be nice to each other, we wouldn’t be so stressed or feel the need to “beat” someone at being busy. My sister told me once that we choose what we give our life to.  When people say they do not have time for something they are really just saying “I didn’t make time.”  So make the time, go live your life, spend time with your family and friends, do house projects you always want to, read a book, watch your favorite TV show, and PLEASE go take a nap! You can still go your job the right way and make a living without the constant need to make sure you are busier than someone else. A busy life is not a better life, stop the glorification of busy (it doesn’t get your paid more money anyways)!