Wishing baby dust to all!

Another doctors appointment is out of the way in an effort to prepared for IVF treatments!  Kevin and I are getting closer and closer to starting the actual rounds of IVF.  A very exciting and terrifying journey we will be starting!  We will be going through this process very publicly.  We are working with CBS news to try and get our story out to the world.  Our goal is to get legislation to pass through Congress that will allow the VA to provide fertility treatments to wounded soldiers that need it.  The reason that we require IVF treatments to have children is because of an injury that my fiancee suffered in Afghanistan.  Not only did the IED he stepped on cost him his leg, it caused a significant decrease in fertility.  We required IVF treatments with ICSI, meaning the egg and sperm have to be put together by an Embryologist.  None of this is currently covered by the VA.  It is also not covered at all by Tricare Prime (for retired soldiers).  If Kevin was still active duty, we would not be in this situation because it is covered for active duty.  However, Kevin was medically retired due to the significance of his injuries and we are left to find other means to cover the cost of the treatments. We are working hard, and I know other couples are getting involved to try and get the word out.   Please help us get this bill through Congress by asking your representatives to get on board.  By voting no, they are telling wounded soldiers they do not deserve access to medicine and treatments that could allow them to have their own children.  These wounded soldiers deserve more support than that!  The medicine and science is available, lets work together to make it more affordable for everyone!

Click the link below to read about the bill!

Bill HR2257 – Provide Fertility Treatments to Wounded Soldiers.

Click the link below to send a letter to your representatives!  It is simple, you just add what you want and it sends it for you!

Write to your Representatives!

Thank you so much for all of the love and support.  We will keep everyone updated as we go through the process.  We appreciate prayers as we start the process!

Facebook Page for more information regarding this bill!

As I sit in my living room listening to the fireworks in the distance, I can not help but to feel an overwhelming amount of pride in this country, America!  When I hear fireworks, I do not have to worry if they are gun shots or bombs going off in the distance, I know they are fireworks.  When a helicopter goes over my head, I do not worry that it will bring danger to myself and people I love.  I know the helicopter brings police, EMS, and media.  We live in a place where you can expect a certain level of safety.  To me, that is something worth being thankful for.  We have a strong military that fights everyday to keep the war off of our land.  I am so proud of them for their sacrifices they’ve made to make our country stronger and safer.   We have strong EMS, Fire and Police who are always ready to respond when needed. These people and their families give so much to provide us services that so many other countries do not access to.  When we show pride in our country, we are saying “thank you” to these people too.

Lately, there has been much media related to lack of american pride.  I watched a video of an experiment that was done with college kids.  The person tried to persuade the college students to sign a petition to change the American flag into something else, they did this by saying the current one isn’t worth anything anymore.  THEY SIGNED IT!  So many of the college students signed it, and that broke my heart.  Are we raising a generation of people who do not feel the American pride?  What can we do to fix it? I feel like everyone who lives in this country should have a flag flying.  Nothing warms my heart more than seeing the flags out for the holidays.  Imagine a country where we flew our flags all of the time, where our pride just screamed out to you as your drove down neighborhood roads.  I dream of that kind of pride being displayed by those that live here. Imagine how this probably would make our military members feel as they return home from the war.  We all probably heard this quote several times but it continues to be true, “United we stand, divide we fall.”  We currently live in a country where our reality is that 22 veterans a day are ending their own lives.  That is an epidemic, and what are we doing to fix it? Instead of fixing it, we are showing less and less pride in our country. We are becoming more and more divide and the results are catastrophic.

I know that sometimes things do not go as we want them to, and it can become very frustrating, but please do not lose hope.  Do something about the things that frustrate you, complaining has never fixed anything!  Research who you vote for, volunteer, write letters, contact your representatives, blog about it, do something, just DO NOT LOSE HOPE!  If you lose hope, then so does the next person, and then it just continues to trickle down.  Who will be left to fix our country when no one has hope? This country is something worth fighting for and I am so proud to live on this beautiful land!  Happy 4th of July!  Keep showing that American Pride!

Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt guilty for sitting down on the couch after work instead of doing something more “productive”.  My hand is raised as high as it can go.  I feel like if I take a break, a nap, or anything else that is not actually doing something, then I am a lazy person.  Lazy people do not get things done and I do not want to
be one of those people.  However, don’t you think we take it a little too far the opposite way?  Like somehow we are not good enough unless we work until the point of death.  That if we are not working 10 hour days or more we are less of a human-being.  Oh and heaven forbid if you sit down and eat lunch without work in front of you… how dare you! Breaks are for the dead.  While we are alive we must spend every waking second of our life working and making sure everything is perfect.  We must always please our boss, not matter how ridiculous the demands.  We cannot deviate from this plan, otherwise we are looked upon as lazy, unproductive, and somehow less human than those who do.

I have just one question in response to these feelings.. What about us? This is our life, right..  We do not owe our life to any single human being or even our careers.  We owe our lives to ourselves, and our creators (depending on what you believe), and that is it.  It is a crazy notion but it is true.  Why do we feel like we must always be doing something?  Why do we judge those who do take a break?  How many times have you heard these questions:

* Oh you got a nap today, must be nice, I wish I could take a nap.

* What a luxury that you get to stay home with your kids, I wish I had that opportunity to sit around the house all day in my PJS.

* It must be nice to sit down and watch American Idol, I just don’t get to watch TV because I am just so busy.

* How about since they obviously have so much extra time, they come help me with my job?

* Read a book? When do you ever have time to read a book?

All of those comments and the thousands of others that we have all heard are said intentionally to make the other person feel like less of a person because they spent time doing something they enjoyed.  Why do we do that?  Why do we criticize the person who is choosing to use their time to do things they enjoy?  It is their life after-all! It is almost like we are wired to react that way and it does not make sense to me.  I am going to start glorifying the people who actually take the time to do what they want to do instead of focusing on the “I must be busy” mantra that so many people follow.   We are here on this earth for the average of 27,000 days.  Why in the world are we wasting these precious days exhausted, overworked, and stressed the HECK out? Stress is its own drug, it destroy our bodies slowly and its impact is real.  The following things are just short preview of what stress does to the body: headaches, stomach ulcers, digestive issues, infertility, acne, increased glucose level possibly leading to type-2 diabetes, muscle pain, memory loss, depression, relationship issues, anxiety, heart-attack, stroke, and the list goes on and on.   I wouldn’t take a pill or eat something that would me all of those side effects.  Yet, time after time we buy into the notion that a busy and stressful life is a more for-filling life and we basically taking that pill!

We all think that everyone else has it so much easier than us.  That our lives our the most stressful and they just don’t have a clue.  I, for one, would much rather choose to wear my own shoes, than to try on someone else’s.  We have no idea what other people face and how they are feeling inside.  I’d almost guarantee that if we did try someone else’s shoes, we’d return them and want a full refund.  Maybe if we would all just be nice to each other, we wouldn’t be so stressed or feel the need to “beat” someone at being busy. My sister told me once that we choose what we give our life to.  When people say they do not have time for something they are really just saying “I didn’t make time.”  So make the time, go live your life, spend time with your family and friends, do house projects you always want to, read a book, watch your favorite TV show, and PLEASE go take a nap! You can still go your job the right way and make a living without the constant need to make sure you are busier than someone else. A busy life is not a better life, stop the glorification of busy (it doesn’t get your paid more money anyways)!

So I started this post on Mother’s Day and then life got a little out of control, but I still wanted to finished it. It worked out because my Mom’s birthday is today, so it is still for her!

I am very fortunate to have a loving mother who gave all her time and energy to us while we were growing up.  She wasn’t just there for my sister and I, she was there for our friends, our schools, and our communities.  She fights for people who cannot fight for themselves.  My Mom stayed home with my sister and I until my younger sister started high school.  She worked a couple side jobs from time to time but mostly devoted her time to the schools.  She was always the classroom parent for my sister and I.  I often forgot that she did not actually work at the school.  She was PTA president for our county and schools for many years. We were always going to PTA conferences all over Maryland.  I remember my sister and I being so excited about going to different hotels!  She made a difference in our schools at the time.  My Mom is my hero for that reason and so many more.

My Mom experienced a lot so far in her life, a lot of it was painful, but as she would say it was worth it because it got her to where she is now. She is one of 14 children!  Her Dad tragically died in a coal mining accident when my Mom was 3.  Her Mom died of throat cancer when she was 5. She has been told that when her Dad died, her Mom couldn’t keep up the fight.  My Mom went to live with her older brother and sister in-law. She grew up with out her parents and it wasn’t always pleasant.  She made the decision to make sure to never treat her children poorly and she never did. We never faced any angry fist or anything could of made us feel physical or emotional pain. She overcame everything that could have easily changed her path, and for that she is my hero.
I remember the first time I found out that Mom had been married before she married my Dad.  I just assumed it was always the two of them; that they always lived in this happy marriage bubble.  Then one day, I am not even sure how it came up, I found out she was married before.  At first I did not believe her.  Then it was undeniable because the name on her wedding invitation was not the same last name that I knew has her maiden name.  I remember being completely heart broken.  Not because she had been divorced, but because at some point in her life my Mom was not shown love.  At some point in her life she found herself with her husband’s hands around her throat and with a very tough decision to make.  At some point in her life she was sad, alone, and scared.  That was heartbreaking for me.  I know my Mom, she is the strongest lady and I found out that at some point that strength was put to the test. I had assumed my Mom found my Dad and lived happily ever after. I’ve only ever witnessed my Dad treat my Mom with the upmost love and care. I assumed she always had that and it made me happy knowing she had such a love, especially after her childhood.  Instead, she went through hell first.  That isn’t fair, why are the strongest people tested so much?  It wasn’t just that she was in an abusive marriage, she lost her parents, she was raised in a home where she was not exactly wanted, and so much more. She is an amazing person and she deserves nothing more than love and I am so glad she found it in my Dad.

The craziest part is probably about 30 years later, I found myself in a very similar situation.  I am not one to believe that we are destined to certain fates, but my Mom’s story helped save me. I literally could have saved my life.  Somehow she survived abuse and divorce.  Somehow I would too. My Mom found my Dad and she has been treated with love and care and has the family she always dreamed of (at least I think she likes us…haha!).  It gave me hope.  Hope that I would find that “one” too.  Another reason she is and always will be my hero! A few years later I found that “one”, who only ever treats me with love and care.  He treats me better than I deserve most times and I am very thankful for him!

My Mom is my hero, she is the one I turn to in tough times and celebrate with in great times.  I am so thankful to have her as my Mother and to have grown to have an unbreakable friendship.  Happy 40th anniversary of your 21st birthday! Here’s to many more years of everything that makes you happy!

My Mom and I many years ago!

Stress… you’ve shown your ugly face again and again; to be honest I am quite sick of you. I am trying to find a way to beat it, to not feel like every breath is a struggle.  To not feel like my heart is going to explode. My blood pressure is higher with every doctors appointment. I cannot stand the look I get, I do not have a blood pressue issue, I have anxiety that is trying to destroy me and everytime I have to explain. I would love to not feel like my stomach is going to eventually just eat itself and everything I do eat just makes me feel sick.  To not feel this way would be my greatest blessing right now. I have to find a way to win here.  The only calming source I have found is spa music. Even that is not always doing the trick.  I am trying and I am fighting, I just feel so lost.
I have so many positives in my life.  It is so frustrating to feel this way when there are so many things to look forward to!
It’s going to be okay, today is just not my day. We all have them, I just need to find my footing here. Feel free to share what works for you!